I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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