No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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