The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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