Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
