yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
