Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize