Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize