I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
