Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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