why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what day is it and did you see me today?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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