I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
