I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
