Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
