I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
