I seem to have left my pride at pride
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
