Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
