No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
