i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
