I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
where does the pee come out of this thing
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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