He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
