He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize