I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
