she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
