Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize