we have pet lesbian snakes
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
