Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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