I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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