Do you still have your period?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
