Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
