Im at strip club and am horny
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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