i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
