I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
