drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
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