How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
