ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
