how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
