god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
