Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Houston, we have a blender
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize