took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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