I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize