Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we're chasing vodka with high fives
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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