I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
