Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
