11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
