Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
