I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
FUCK WHALES
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
