Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
