I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
