Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
