at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
