hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
