Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize