we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
