Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
