I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
