McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
